The 43th Annual Awards for Teachers who are on my Timetable
1. The “Watch movies every other class and still manage to teach us well, all the way into the Cold War” Award
This one goes to Treleaven. Yeah, he cancels half the tests for the year and half the entire course was made up of movies, but the classes he was there and actually taught were good. I can’t believe I got an 88 first term in this class. Ah well, I redeemed myself.
2. The “ZEE MARK IZ MEIN!” Award
English is hard. I can accept that. But having a teacher think 80 is the Holy of Holies makes it slightly more difficult. Only slightly. Okay, I lie. Mitsopoulos is a nice teacher, really. It’s her Mark Nazi marking schemes that make us all weep.
3. The “One to three, a, e, g, four, a to c, and 7 to 9″ Award
How Voves assigns homework: she picks her three favourite letters of the day and three favourite numbers of the day and puts it together somehow so that it comes out as a string of questions for the day’s homework. Needless to say, it’s preferable to the lazy teachers who just assign 1 to 263257.
4. The “Good morning to each and everyone of you” Award
Mirkopoulos is nice. REALLY nice. And REALLY easy. Her happy-ness (that’s deliberate) and hand gestures make everyone feel safe from overly difficult things. She had to make the civics exam slightly harder, and it was as easy as invading France.
5. The “I wish I could get to know my brother more” Award.
Beswick is a depressed guy. He’s easy. He’s emotional. Apparently, he broke down into tears because of a reaction from his students to one of his tests. And he’s away every other class. The man has problems. It’s best to leave him alone.
6. The “My dog is better than you” Award
Hybs is amazing. Hybs is smart. Hybs will make you look stupid. Hybs will create fear in you. Hybs will then mark in such a way that you will be rejoicing. Yep. That Hybs is crazy. One of the greatest teachers, evar.
7. The “Everything that can go wrong will” Award
Music is so fun. But alas, there is always something going wrong. There’s always some amusing “you won’t believe it” type thing going on in Ms. Moroz’s life. I’m glad she’s our music teacher and not some other schmuck.
8. The “I’ll bump you up to 99 and just to be fair, I’ll bump everyone up the amount I bump you up too” Award.
Khorshichehr is a really good teacher. He makes computer engineering easy. Even better is the fact that he bumps the highest student in the class (me!) up to 99 and does the same for everyone else too. Ah yes, I like that. My average has never been looking better.
9. The “Useless retarded hypocrite who should have been fired a few years ago but hey the stupid teacher’s union has to protect the lives of dangerous stupids so we can’t do a damned thing about but at least the principal and department head agree with us” Award.
Zayit is the most incompetent retard in the entire world. If I did not need to take computer science, I would have dropped it in a heartbeat. I do not care if I’m getting 100 in that class. The waste of time and intelligence in that class has been devastating. I will be seething with hate when I hear that accursed name. And all will cry woe as those vile letters are pronounced throughout the air. Oh how we wish we could push her out that window when she opened it in the middle of the bloody winter. Oh how we wished we could have handed her the pink slip for her incompetence. Only then shall we have victory. But until then, avoid TIK2O1 for the life of you. If you heed not my warning, only death and destruction await.
And that ends this year’s edition. Please come back for the 65th Annual Awards for Teachers who are on my Timetable next year, slightly different time.