With my latest emerge -uDav world, VMWare was upgraded to 5.something. With that upgrade, I decided to see if recording MDs would get any faster. Indeed, it did. In fact, now Nero is slower than Simple Burner. This is a joyous moment. I may actually be able to keep my MD for another few years thanks to VMWare.
To Sony: Thank VMWare for righting your wrongs.