Creation
So while I’ve been coding the codes at work, I’ve taken the opportunity to explore and get into a variety of podcasts. Throughout the term, I’ve listened through all of Downloadable Content: The Penny Arcade Podcast, VGDJ: the official OverClocked Remix podcast, The Rissington Podcast, Into the Score, and Webcomics Weekly. All of these have something in common, which is that the podcasts were a way for the creators and artists to communicate what they do.
A lot of the talk about process and how things go together and the details of their particular crafts have really made me realize just how much I want to do. Something that I’ve always been compelled to get into is photography. It’s a product of spending so much time on designers’ blogs. They almost all have flickr and have a ridiculous number of photos. It seems like all of my friends are getting into it. I understand the art behind photography and I’m attracted to it, but at the same time, there’s something about it that seems to prevent me from enjoying it. It’s probably the aversion I have to being in front of a camera and as a result, I can’t be comfortable behind a camera.
And there are other various barriers that prevent me from other arts that I want to give a go. Webcomics seems like something that’s up my alley, what with my comfort with this new-fangled Internets and my random personality. Except, after listening to PA and WW, they’ve only confirmed my suspicion that I don’t have the artistic talent or the writing skill to pull it off. My sarcasm may know no bounds, but it’s capturing that humour is not something that comes easily to me.
Music is another thing that I’ve had to turn down, even though it’s something that I can understand getting into. I mean, I’ve taken music all through high school, and my awe at music in video games and what the OverClocked Remix community has done with it is inspiring. Yet, I don’t have the music knowledge for arrangement or the equipment and skill for production.
And design. I talk about design a lot and a lot of people think I’m really good at it, but a lot of the times, when I put things into perspective, I seem like a hack to myself. I’m not a designer. I’m just a guy who tries his best to apply whatever little scraps of knowledge he’s gleaned from real designers to try and make something that isn’t completely awful.
It was Tycho who mentioned that everyone who feels a need to create are emotional wrecks and that their creation is a product of that wreckage. I’ve come to the realization that besides mediocre design, about the only thing I can create anymore is whatever I write. Surprisingly, writing is one of the few arts that I’ve been drawn to that I seem to be able to carry on without the suck. That seems counterintuitive for someone who was considered an archetypical engineering student.
Doesn’t everyone who creates things actually feel a need to create whatever emotional wreck spews out of their shattered, damaged heart? Unless you’re a soul-less robot, then you just assemble things anyway.
I wonder if Tych included himself in that pool of emotional wrecks.
The conversation in question was from a PA podcast, in which Gabe wonders how people write webcomics alone, to which Tycho responds that they’re emotional basketcases. He then goes on to say that that’s not a slight against people who write webcomics alone; everyone who has an urge to create is “broken, as we are”.