Category Archives: Computers

High tech stuff.

Write once

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Apparently, in the world of development, Java is a giant joke. It’s a giant in several ways. It’s easy to start learning and using, but in order to really know it, you have to spend immense amounts of time learning just the standard library alone. Add to that all of the extra classes that you’ll undoubtedly come across, and you have one massive language.

It’s also gigantic because it really wasn’t written with efficiency in mind. I mean, char is two bytes and none of the primitives are unsigned. It’s a pain the butt to translate C code over to Java because of this, especially when there are bits to be shifted. Essentially, the way around this is to treat each byte as a larger type, like a short or int.

But once you get into Java development, you’ll learn that Java is the joke and that the punchline will always be, without fail, “Write once, run everywhere”.

K&R are right

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My new hobby at work is slamming my keyboard on my head while changing the code that the previous coop worked on. You’ve heard me whine about coding style before, but holy crap, who the hell codes like this?

public static String function ()throws IOException, SAXException{ and so on.

Who the hell puts a space in between their function name and argument list? Who the hell doesn’t put a space in between their argument list and exception throwing stuff? Who bloody puts the opening brace of a function on the same lines as the function declaration?

You know what’s even better?

if (variable.equals(something.else)) {
        bla bla bla;
}
else if (variable.equals(something.again)) {
        ...

Did you catch that? Because it took me a few looks at it to really see what was going on there. Now you might have seen it immediately, but try looking at it when there are fifteen other branches. It’s even better when another if statement begins after this one ends with no whitespace in between them.

I swear if I ever get put in charge of a team of developers, the first thing I will do is beat them over the head with a copy of The C Programming Language until they respond with “K&R are right” whenever I mention braces.

Don’t make me get the book.

They’re also for kids

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Gather ’round as I impart some wise thoughts:

When puppies do cute tricks, they receive adoration, awwwwwwwwwwws, and puppy treats for being cute and doing tricks.

When developers do cute tricks, they receives stabs in their faces and auras of anger for making it hell for whoever gets to maintain the fantastic pile of rat corpses that they coded.

In conclusion, tricks are for cute puppies, not developers.

“amg faecbook is selling my privacies!!!!”

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This just in: I have heard from various sources that Facebook is selling your data through a service called the Facebook Development Platform.

My response: No, no they are frigging not. They are not selling anyone’s personal data. If they are, they certainly don’t need the Development Platform.

“But amg programs that aren’t faecbook are accessing my datas!” you say. Well, it’s too bad that all of those people making angry Facebook groups, thereby sticking it to the man, aren’t as good at software development as they are at parsing through the Terms of Service to take quotes out of context.

The Facebook Development Platform is an Application Programming Interface. Wikipedia says:

An application programming interface (API) is a source code interface that a computer system or program library provides to support requests for services to be made of it by a computer program.

The software that provides the functionality described by an API is said to be an implementation of the API. The API itself is abstract, in that it specifies an interface and does not get involved with implementation details.

The API allows a program to make requests without having to know the details of the implementation. What does this mean? Well it means that using Facebook’s API, programs don’t need to have all of your private informations that you hold so dearly, since it can just make requests to the server and process everything without having the entire Facebook database on its machine.

I mean, hell, you need to log in for these programs to work. If Facebook is giving your information away, you have more to worry about than your silly little datas; they’re giving away passwords too! Oh noes! Security breach!

People really should actually read the API docs before accusing Facebook of criminal activity, because you all end up looking like retards to people who actually know what the hell they’re talking about.

In conclusion, Facebook users make me angry.

Shiira

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Shiira is one of the newer browsers for OS X and has just hit 2.0. Its rendering engine is Webkit, which is the same engine that powers Apple’s Safari. Shiira has some pretty nifty features and the first few minutes of using it were pretty sleek and fast. I was going to try it out, except within the first few minutes, it bugged the hell out, and it became unusable, even after reinstalling it. Good game.